If It Hadn't Been This Way
by Vol lady
Summary: AU – It is one year after "Time After Midnight" and Jarrod has not recovered his vision, but managed to keep his career together with the help of a young attorney who becomes his assistant and brings him some insight into the life he hadn't planned on living.
1. Chapter 1

If It Hadn't Been This Way

When the two men came through the front door, Audra had a quick kiss on the cheek for her brother and a longer kiss on the lips for the young man who came in with him. "Did you two have a good day?" she asked.

"Fairly boring," Jarrod said, made his way to the table by the stairs and put his briefcase and hat down there.

"Negotiations over that land deal near Lodi," Clarence Robinson said.

Mrs. Clarence Robinson kissed him again. "Did they go well?"

"Well enough," Jarrod said. "Clarence is going to spend a long day writing up a contract tomorrow. How's Mother doing today?"

"Oh, she's fine," Audra said.

"You worry too much," Victoria said as she came in from the kitchen and kissed her oldest son.

"You took a nasty tumble last week," Jarrod said. "How's that bruise? Nick told me looked like you fell into a vat of ink."

"More yellow and green than purple now," Victoria said, touching the spot on her left cheek that had hit the ground before the rest of her did.

Jarrod could picture it, but he could only remember purple and yellow and green. Totally blind since the explosion that took his sight right before the Cunningham trial, he had put his law practice back together by hiring Clarence as his assistant when he decided, after having to kill Cunningham and complete the prosecution of his henchmen Mason and Corell, that he was going to keep practicing law, somehow. The somehow turned out to be with the bright young man who moved to Stockton out of the blue, became Jarrod's right hand man and then his brother-in-law. Jarrod had escorted his sister down the aisle only six months ago, on what turned out to be one of the happiest days of his life. He didn't trip over anything as he escorted her and then went to his seat. He danced with her and their mother and several of Audra's friends and didn't trip any of them, either. It had been a beautiful evening.

But fairy tales give way to realities. Even though he was able to continue with Clarence's help, even trying cases in court, Jarrod was coming to realize that the young man was going to need more of a practice that was his own. Jarrod made him a full partner and that increased his income, but he couldn't be just an assistant forever. He had to make his own practice, build his own life. Audra was going to have their first child.

Being stuck with a blind partner would only hold Clarence back. Jarrod knew that for a fact, but how was he ever going to find an assistant as good as Clarence had been? Or should he even try? Might it be better if he just turned the entire practice over to Clarence and retired?

But then what? What does a blind man do when he gives up his life's work? How does he build a new life when he's only in his mid-thirties but he can't see a thing?

For now, Jarrod chased the thoughts away and walked to the refreshment table. He knew his way around the house just fine and didn't bump into anything. They had tied a string around the neck of the decanter that held his favorite scotch, so Jarrod had no trouble finding it. "A drink, Clarence?" he asked as he poured some into a glass.

"Not just yet," Clarence said and came into the living room with his arm around his pregnant wife. He sat her down on the settee and sat beside her.

They always left Jarrod's "thinking chair" empty for him, and he made his way there with his glass of scotch and sat down. Once he was safely in place, Victoria sat down in the chair next to it.

Jarrod had been thinking about something that had happened in town, wondering if he should say anything about it. He expected Clarence was watching him, wondering if he was going to bring it up. With the way things seemed to have turned out, Jarrod decided, and he said, "Something else did happen in town today. Cass Hyatt is back."

"Cass Hyatt?" Victoria said with alarm.

"He's out of Quentin," Jarrod said. "The governor pardoned him, and he came home."

"Did you tell Clarence who Cass Hyatt was?" Victoria asked, looking to her son-in-law with a look that said something very dangerous was happening.

"I did," Jarrod said.

"All of it?" Victoria asked.

Clarence said, "He told me he'd put Hyatt in San Quentin seven years ago and Hyatt threatened to kill him if he ever got out. I'm not sure how serious that threat is anymore."

"Hyatt came up to us in the street," Jarrod said. "He laughed when he saw me. He said something along the lines of, 'Don't worry, Barkley, I'd never kill a blind man.'"

Clarence looked at his wife and then his mother-in-law, embarrassed for his partner. "The Sheriff was nearby and heard all this happening," he said.

"I don't think I have anything to worry about as far as Hyatt is concerned," Jarrod said. "I think he was as happy to see me blind as to see me dead, and now he doesn't have to worry about paying for any revenge he might have to exact. He'd just as soon see me fumbling around in the dark as see me six feet under."

There was an edge to Jarrod's words, a bitterness. Jarrod took a hefty drink of his scotch. Victoria wondered if his "you don't have to worry" line was covering up a fear, a vulnerability, an anger that he couldn't defend himself if Hyatt did come after him.

Clarence was still wearing his sidearm, and he quietly touched it. A signal to his wife and mother-in-law that he would look out for Jarrod, as he had been doing. Audra looked both distressed and comforted. Having her husband take her brother's place in the line of fire wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear.

But Jarrod said, "Hyatt won't bother me, I'm sure of it. He's already got his revenge and didn't have to lift a finger. And besides, he knows the sheriff is watching."

"Still, maybe Nick or Heath better stick with you for a few days," Victoria suggested.

"I'll talk to them," Jarrod conceded. And he hated it, being unable to console his family, being unable to take care of himself, being just unable.

Clarence and Audra were not staying for dinner and headed home only a few minutes after Nick and Heath came in from the field. Again, Jarrod was irritated, as he often was, because even though Silas was in the house, Clarence always waited until Nick and Heath were here before he left. As if Jarrod alone couldn't look after his mother. It even bothered Victoria a bit, but even though she took Clarence aside once and assured him he need not stay until her other sons came home, Clarence said, "It's not that I think there's any danger in just you and Jarrod and Silas being here. There isn't, I'm sure of it. I just like being able to report to my dear wife that all her brothers and her mother are safely at home together at the end of the day. Now that she's having a baby, that Mother Hen is pouring right out of her."

Victoria understood that, but she knew Jarrod never would. Besides, on this day, she felt better that Nick and Heath were here before Clarence and Audra left, because Cass Hyatt was around.

"Cass Hyatt?" Nick blurted when Victoria told him as he and Heath came in the front door.

In his thinking chair, Jarrod had no trouble overhearing it and groaned.

"Who's Cass Hyatt?" Heath asked.

"Jarrod put him in San Quentin seven years ago," Nick said, frowning. "Hyatt claimed Jarrod railroaded him to make a name for himself and said he'd kill him if he ever got out."

"He's not gonna kill me," Jarrod said as his family came into the living room with him. "Like I told Mother, Hyatt was perfectly content to see me blind as a bat. Now he can go on with his life and doesn't have to risk going back to prison and he can laugh at me anytime he wants."

"I still think either Nick or Heath ought to stay with you and Clarence in town, at least for a few days," Victoria said.

"No," Jarrod said, contrary to what he'd said earlier about talking to them about it. He was beginning to get angry about being treated like a cripple, even if he was one. "Clarence will keep an eye on me," Jarrod said, "and Hyatt won't be bothering me anyway."

His mother and brothers looked at each other, still worried.

Jarrod knew exactly what they were doing, and he got up and turned toward where he thought Nick was standing. "I'll carry a gun before I'll carry a bodyguard."

"The heck you will!" Nick blurted out, before he noticed Jarrod was beginning to grin.

Jarrod let his anger ease off, saying, "I can be just as absurd as the rest of you. Relax. Hyatt isn't going to hurt me. He's just going to laugh at me."

"And that's not gonna bother you?" Heath said bluntly.

"Under the circumstances, no," Jarrod said, "because if I know Cass Hyatt, he'll get into some other kind of trouble and I'll prosecute him if he does. He's not the only one who can have his revenge."

And to prove something – to prove he could tell Heath was standing right in front of him by the sound of his voice – Jarrod gave him a slap on the arm and walked carefully around him, avoiding any collision with anyone or anything.

"I need to go clean up," Jarrod said, and headed straight for the stairs and up them, without missing a step.

Victoria shrugged. "Barkley stubborn," she said.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

As she rode home in the buggy with her husband, Audra thought about Cass Hyatt, and she thought about some other things, too. This husband of hers was such a light in the life of the Barkleys, and he had come out of nowhere and fit in so beautifully. She thought she knew him so well instantly, but there was still something about him that kept her wondering now and then. This business with Cass Hyatt was one of those times.

"You seem so sure Cass Hyatt won't be a problem," Audra said. "Why are you so sure?"

Clarence sighed. "Oh, the way he looked at Jarrod when he realized Jarrod was blind. It was like all the anger washed right out of him, like he felt whatever revenge he wanted he already had."

"That's not all of it, is it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Somehow, sometimes, you just seem to be so certain of things the rest of us are left wondering about."

"Like what?"

"Like that robbery at the train depot, after Jarrod was blinded." Audra remembered how awful that had been, two men killed and one wounded. Nick and Heath had gone after the Dunigan brothers and brought them back to justice, but there was something else. "Why did you think it would have been Jarrod in that depot if he could see?"

"Well, it seemed logical to me that Jarrod would have been handling it if he'd be able. That kind of sale, that kind of shipment - " He shrugged. "The kind of business transaction Jarrod would have handled, wouldn't he?"

"Yes, but it might not have been him. It might have been Mr. Cole, just like it did turn out. Yet you've always seemed so sure it would have been Jarrod."

Clarence shrugged again. "I don't know. I just really think it would have been Jarrod."

Audra shook her head. "How is it you came here, Clarence?"

"What?" Clarence asked with a laugh.

"Surely you wanted your own practice when you started out, but you came here, and almost instantly you decided you wanted to work with Jarrod."

Clarence shrugged one more time. "It was a great opportunity. I was new at the law. Jarrod was well-known and well respected and I wanted to work with him."

"Specifically," Audra said. "It was like you wanted to work with him specifically, maybe even because he was blind, not in spite of it."

Clarence laughed a little. "Audra, I knew that we were going to be a great team. I knew, because he was blind, that we would be working more closely together than if he weren't blind and I was his assistant. I knew I could learn more and take on more responsibility faster working with Jarrod than with any other lawyer around, and yes, because he's the best lawyer around, and because he's blind. Besides, he's a good man and I like him and I wanted to help him and he had a beautiful sister I wanted to fall in love with."

He gave her a grin and a wink. Audra laughed. "Clarence Robinson, you are full of prunes."

XXXXXX

Jarrod's prediction that Hyatt would get into trouble came true, but not in Stockton. A month later, Jarrod got word from south of Modesto that Hyatt had gone down there, gotten into a fight over a poker game, and ended up being shot dead by one of the other players.

"So Mr. Hyatt is out of our lives for good," Jarrod said after he explained what had happened to the family.

Clarence said, "It seems Hyatt couldn't stay out of trouble if the opportunity were handed to him on a silver platter."

Victoria breathed better. "Did he leave any family?"

"A brother, as I recall," Jarrod said. "I don't know how he feels about it but I don't think you need to concern yourself with him popping up in our lives. I don't think they were particularly close."

"Well, I'd better get back to helping with dinner," Victoria said and went back into the kitchen.

Jarrod went into the living room and poured himself some scotch. Clarence decided he'd have a little, too, and took a glass from Jarrod. They were alone together, Jarrod sitting down in his chair and Clarence in the chair beside him, when Clarence said, "There is something else I probably ought to mention to you. As we were leaving town, I saw MacGregor putting up a sign outside the Gaiety. Julia Saxon is coming to Stockton."

Jarrod paused, holding a swallow of scotch for a moment, being careful not to swallow it until he got over the impulse to choke. He finally swallowed. "Julia Saxon?"

"You remember," Clarence said. "She was a Confederate spy during the war."

"I remember," Jarrod said.

"Mother told me you were in intelligence for the Union Army for a while during the war. Now, I'm not saying anything to anyone, but I thought I ought to let you know she was coming in case her being here is going to bother you."

Jarrod took another sip of scotch. "Why should it bother me?"

"Matt Parker," Clarence said.

The way Clarence was saying things made Jarrod wonder – what else did he know? How did he know it? "You know about Matt Parker."

"I was having a drink at Harry's last week, after I brought you home and but before I went to my place," Clarence said. "I don't know why – I just felt like it. I met Ross and Worth Parker. They told me Matt had been a friend of yours and they told me what had happened during the war, and what happened after. They didn't mention Julia Saxon by name, but when that billboard went up I got curious, and I'm more curious because I saw the Parkers heading for that billboard as we were leaving town today. I get the feeling Julia Saxon had something to do with Matt Parker getting court martialed during the war."

Jarrod just said, "When is she due into town?"

"She's supposed to open on April 29. She'll probably come in a day before that to get settled," Clarence said. Then he carefully said, "Is there anything you think I ought to know about all this? Matt Parker was your friend."

"I defended him at his court martial," Jarrod said.

"So Ross told me," Clarence said.

Jarrod drank more of his scotch. "You probably know everything you need to know, or you've figured it out."

"What does the family know?"

"Nothing," Jarrod said, "and I'd just as soon keep it that way."

"They'll know soon enough she's coming into town."

Jarrod finished off his scotch. "I'm sure I won't be having anything to do with her."

"You did know her during the war and they don't know anything about that, am I right?"

"Yes, you're right," Jarrod said. "And I don't want you saying anything about it, not even to Audra. The past is the past."

"All right," Clarence said.

Nick and Heath came in not long afterward, Nick his usual blustering self only more so. "Did you two know anything about Julia Saxon coming to town?" he asked even as he entered the living room.

"Clarence saw the billboard," Jarrod said. "He just told me a few minutes ago."

"Why in the world would she come here?"

"I don't know, Nick," Jarrod said. "I'm not privy to the lady's thinking."

"Heath, I don't think we ever told you the story about Matt Parker, Ross and Worth's brother," Nick said.

Jarrod quickly butted in. "Matt was a friend of mine who became involved with Julia Saxon during the war and he wasn't aware she was a spy. He got court martialed, I defended him, he was acquitted but he never got over it and five years ago he shot himself to death. Some say it was an accident. Some say it wasn't."

"What do you think?" Heath asked.

"I know he drank too much. I know he never got over the court martial, and I think he was so in love with Julia Saxon that he never got over her either," Jarrod said.

"Then you gotta wonder why she's coming here," Heath said. "It can't just be to sing. She can do that anywhere."

"And you can bet it's not to apologize to Ross and Worth," Nick said.

Clarence got up. "If you boys will excuse me, I have a wife at home who is going to have a baby, and when a woman is going to have a baby, there's no telling how she's going to react if her man is even ten minutes late. Jarrod, I'll pick you up in the morning, as usual."

"All right, Clarence," Jarrod said. "Love to Audra."

"Gentlemen," Clarence said to Nick and Heath, and then he left.

Nick continued to mutter. "I wouldn't be surprised if they ran Julia Saxon out of town on a rail."

"Maybe it's time to quit fighting the war, Nick," Heath said. "You wanted me to get over my bad feeling toward Matt Bentell. Maybe you oughtta ease up on Julia Saxon."

Nick was caught now. The family had been a bit rough on Heath when Matt Bentell – who ran the prison camp where Heath had been held during the war – came to work for them under another name. "Well," Nick said, relenting a bit. "Maybe I can, but I'll bet you money Ross and Worth won't."

"Well, she's come here for some reason," Heath said. "Maybe we oughtta just let her sing and leave, and if she has something else in mind, we deal with that if it's any of our business."

Jarrod didn't say anything. He knew in his heart of hearts why Julia Saxon was here, and he didn't want to deal with that. Ever, if he could get away with it. He suspected he wouldn't get away with it, but for now, he was going to stay quiet.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Julia Saxon?" came flying out of Audra's mouth when Clarence told her the singer was coming to town. "Why in the world would she come to Stockton? Does she think we've forgotten her?"

Clarence was not even mildly taken aback by his wife's reaction. "Sweetheart, you were a child during the war. Why are you so vehement about her coming to town?"

"Because she's a traitor! Because my brothers fought in the war, and she betrayed everything they fought for!"

Clarence took his wife by the arms to calm her down. "She won't be here long. Don't let it upset you so."

"What does Jarrod think about it? She was the reason his friend Matt Parker got court martialed!"

"He's not happy about it, but he's not as upset as you are," Clarence said.

"Matt Parker killed himself because of her."

"I think he thinks that, too, but he's just trying to take things calmly. I suggest you do that too."

Audra took a deep breath. "You'll stick close by him while she's here, won't you?"

"Don't I stick close by him all the time? That's my job. I'm his eyes, and I'm his partner. You know I won't let him down."

"I still wish she weren't coming."

"Well, she is. The best thing for you to do is avoid her. All right?"

Audra took another deep breath before nodding.

XXXXXXX

Every morning, when they got to Jarrod's office, Clarence checked for any messages that might have been slipped under the door overnight, before Jarrod took a step inside and might have slipped on them. When they arrived the next morning, Clarence spotted a telegram and picked it up.

Jarrod could sense him bend over and then straighten again. "How many?" he asked.

Clarence let Jarrod go inside ahead of him, saying, "Just one. Let me have a look."

Jarrod carried his briefcase to the table that was off to the right, then went to his desk and sat down behind it while Clarence closed the door and tore open the envelope. He pulled out the telegram and read it, and he said, "Oh."

"What does it say?" Jarrod asked, uneasy at the "oh."

Clarence sat down in the chair in front of Jarrod's desk. "'Arrive Stockton noon Thursday. Please meet me at station. Love, Julia.'" Clarence refolded the telegram and passed it over the desk toward Jarrod.

Jarrod heard it and found it. He immediately crumpled it and threw it into the trash basket beside his desk. He heard it plop satisfyingly into the wicker.

"I guess this is something else I'll be keeping from my wife," Clarence said.

"And everyone else," Jarrod said.

"Thursday is today, Jarrod. I take it you don't intend to meet her."

"I don't intend to meet her," Jarrod said. "Now, would you go get the Maloney file out of my briefcase? We need to get to work on it."

They worked together steadily for several hours, until they heard the train whistle that usually signaled the northbound coming in, as well as lunchtime coming on. Jarrod paused with what he was saying when he heard the whistle. Both he and Clarence knew it meant Julia Saxon was arriving.

What neither of them realized was that most of the town knew she was arriving, too. Jarrod heard the ruckus beginning before Clarence did, but soon it was too hard to ignore. People in the street yelling things like "Delilah!" and "Go back where you belong!" The Gaiety Theatre was right across the street. You couldn't miss the noise.

"How bad does it look?" Jarrod asked.

Clarence got up and went to the window. "Looks to be about twenty people hounding her. She's pounding on the door, but nobody's answering. Here comes the sheriff. I think he's trying to break it up."

"Go get her, would you?" Jarrod asked.

Clarence was surprised, but not really all that much. "Are you sure you want people to see her coming up here?"

"One thing that didn't change when I lost my sight, Clarence," Jarrod said. "What people think of my business doesn't bother me. Just hurry up and grab Fred Madden and he'll keep anybody from coming up here with you."

"All right," Clarence said and hurried out the door.

He should have been nervous about being seen doing this, but he was very sure no one would be after him for it. He stopped the sheriff quickly, saying, "Jarrod wants her up in his office. Will you keep people back?"

People were already beginning to move away. Sheriff Madden glanced up toward Jarrod's window and said, "Sure. I think they'll leave you alone."

Clarence went to Julia Saxon, who was turning away from the door that was never answered. "Miss Saxon, my name is Clarence Robinson. I'm Jarrod Barkley's law partner. Would you come with me?"

She looked relieved. "Of course," she said.

Clarence took her wordlessly up to Jarrod's office and through the door, which he closed behind them as soon as they were inside. Jarrod was standing beside his desk. Julia Saxon stopped just inside the door, leaving her bag on the floor there. She could see he wasn't looking at her, and she felt spurned for a moment, but then he held his hand out and she realized the truth. He couldn't see.

"Julia – " he said.

She walked up to him and took his hand. He was much taller than she was and his eyes were aimed right over her head. "Jarrod – " she said.

Jarrod motioned to the chair. "Why don't you sit down?" He moved around behind his desk again, and as she sat down and he sat down, he said, "Clarence, do you think you can go over to the café and get us a couple cups of coffee and maybe a couple sandwiches?"

"Sure," Clarence said, and he went back out again.

Left alone with him, Julia saw the blankness in those blue eyes of his, and her heart broke. "How long have you been blind, Jarrod?"

"A little over a year," he said.

"How did it happen?"

"An explosion. Right here in this room."

She sighed. "I'll bet you think I'm bringing you another explosion."

"It's occurred to me," Jarrod said. "You shouldn't have come here. You know you're never going to be allowed on that stage across the street."

"I've been hired."

"It doesn't matter. You'll be hooted off. You'll never finish one song."

"I go where the work is, Jarrod."

"That's not why you're here," Jarrod said. "As you can see, there's nothing I can give you even if I was inclined to. Matt is dead. His brothers despise you and they're going to make trouble for you that I can't help you with."

Julia was quiet for a moment. "I didn't know. How long has Matt been gone?"

"Five years now," Jarrod said.

Julia was silent again for a while. Jarrod wasn't inclined to say anything. Julia finally said, "I didn't know when I contracted to come here that you were injured. I had hoped – well, I had hoped."

"Hoped what?" Jarrod asked.

She looked at him, at those blue eyes she had fallen in love with years ago but that were vacant now. "That you'd talk to me. That you'd listen to me. Not that you'd just want to get rid of me."

"If I want to get rid of you, it's for your own good as well as the town's," Jarrod said. "There's nothing for you here but trouble."

Julia was quiet yet again. A new ruckus in the street suddenly broke the silence. Julia sighed, frustrated.

"Can't you hear that, Julia?" Jarrod said. "I don't even need to see it to know what it is. Right now I just hope my partner can make it back up here with the coffee and the sandwiches without getting hurt."

Julia rubbed her forehead. "I can hear it," she said.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

They didn't say much else to each other before Clarence returned with a tray of coffee and sandwiches.

"Are you all right?" Jarrod asked quickly.

"Still intact," Clarence said. "No spilled coffee or dropped sandwiches, but I got a lot of unhappy looks and words down there. I'm gonna put these on the table and leave you two alone for a while longer. I got a sandwich and coffee waiting for me at the café."

"Don't take too long," Jarrod said. "We're gonna want to leave soon. I want you to rent a surrey at the livery and pull it up in the alley. After we eat, I want to take Julia to the ranch."

Clarence saw surprise in Julia's eyes. "All right," he said and went back out.

Julia was livid. "Just what makes you think you can take me to your ranch if I don't want to go?"

"You want to stay alive," Jarrod said.

"Those people aren't going to hurt me."

"Do you want to take the chance that Matt Parker's brothers won't hurt you? Their hatred for you has been festering all these years, Julia. They're not going to pass up a chance to take his death out on you, and the way the people in that street feel, they'd let them get away with it."

Julia said nothing.

"Clarence read your wire to me," Jarrod said. "I know why you're here, but I can't give you what you're looking for, and I'm sure not going to let those people have you without trying to keep them from it, even if I can't fight them off. You left me with enough guilt over Matt Parker. I'm not going to have guilt over you too. You're going home with me if I have to carry you out – and even you wouldn't make a blind man carry you out."

Julia knew the truth. If she ever had it in her head that she might get some kind of warmth from the man who had loved her once, from the man she had loved, it was gone now. There was nothing but venom in his words. "All right. I'll go with you to the ranch. But I'm coming back here tomorrow and I'll open tomorrow night."

"No, you won't," Jarrod said. "Because I won't be there to rescue you when the tomatoes start flying. No one will be there to rescue you. You think about that tonight, and tomorrow Clarence and I will take you to Grove Junction to catch the train so you don't have to come back here."

"I'll do what I want, Jarrod."

"You think about it, and leaving from Grove Junction tomorrow is what you'll want, believe me."

XXXXXXX

It was early afternoon when Clarence escorted Julia Saxon into the Barkley mansion. Jarrod followed along behind. Once inside, Jarrod said, "Clarence, would you run Julia's bag up to the guest room in the east wing?"

"Sure," Clarence said, took her bag and headed up the stairs.

Victoria appeared from the library. She had heard the surrey come in and was surprised, because their surrey hadn't gone out. She saw Jarrod and Julia – and even though she didn't know what Julia Saxon looked like, she could guess that was who this petite woman was.

"Hello," Victoria said. "I'm Jarrod's mother." She reached out a hand.

Julia took it. "How do you do?"

"I've invited Miss Saxon to spend the night here," Jarrod said. "There was some trouble in town. Clarence has taken her bag up to the east wing."

"Of course," Victoria said. "Miss Saxon, can I interest you in a cup of coffee or tea?"

"A cup of tea would be nice," Julia said.

Victoria put her arm around Julia and took her off toward the dining room, leaving Jarrod there on his own. He knew he was alone. He knew he could sigh and slump and even grumble his heart out in exasperation, but he just stood there until Clarence came back down.

"Jarrod, what do you want me to do now?" Clarence asked.

"Did you bring our briefcases in?" Jarrod asked.

"No, they're in the surrey."

"Why don't you go get them and we'll camp out in the library and get some work done? Have the stable hand take care of the surrey."

"I could go get Audra over here if you want me to."

"Only if Mother asks you to." Jarrod pulled out his pocket watch and felt the hands. It was nearly two o'clock. "Nick and Heath will be coming in in a few hours, so we'd better hop to it if we want to get any work done. As soon as Nick realizes Julia is here, there's gonna be hell for me to pay and I'll be paying it for the rest of the evening."

And Jarrod was right. Even though Victoria kept Julia occupied for most of the day, the two of them were in the living room when Nick and Heath came in – and Nick stopped cold. "What are you doing here?" he snarled at a woman he'd never even met before.

"Miss Saxon will be our guest for the night," Victoria said quickly. "These are Jarrod's brothers, Nick and Heath."

Julia said nothing and did not move. Nick glared. Heath nodded a greeting.

Jarrod and Clarence came in from the library, Clarence carrying his briefcase. Jarrod muttered quietly, "Well, Nick's here. I can tell by the heat emanating from the living room even if I couldn't hear his voice."

"Don't worry," Clarence said. "If you need help convincing Miss Saxon to leave town in the morning, I'll help you out."

"Nick may have her out of here tonight."

"No, I don't think so," Clarence said, "though you might have to have a talk with him." Then Clarence called into the other people in the living room. "Good evening, everyone! I'll see you in the morning!"

As Clarence went out the door, Jarrod moved slowly toward the living room, but Nick headed him off. Jarrod felt him coming close, fast, and stopped. "I want a word with you in the library," Nick said under his breath.

Victoria's eyes told Heath to go with them, so he did.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Nick asked as soon as they got into the library and closed the doors.

"There was trouble in town," Jarrod said.

"Well, there's a surprise!"

"She couldn't stay there, Nick. Now just leave it alone. She'll be gone in the morning."

"And in the meantime, I'm supposed to have a nice quiet dinner with her?"

"Eat out in the bunkhouse, Nick, I don't care," Jarrod said, his voice getting louder.

"You should have talked to us before bringing her here!"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," Heath tried. "You two raise your voices much more and Mother's going to be in here after you. Jarrod – you didn't just meet her today, did you?"

"No," Jarrod said, no longer reluctant to explain himself.

"You knew her during the war," Heath said.

"Yes," Jarrod said.

And Nick said, "You knew her before she knew Matt Parker."

Jarrod hesitated just a moment before he said, "I introduced them."

Nick blew up. "Then what in the world are you doing protecting her?!"

If Jarrod could have glared at Nick and said _read my eyes_, he would have, but that didn't work anymore. He just repeated, "I knew her before she knew Matt Parker."

Nick got the picture. He sighed, frustrated. "Why didn't you just tell us that?"

"Because I didn't think it was any of your business, Nick, and it still isn't," Jarrod said.

"What do you plan to do with her tomorrow?" Heath asked.

"I'll take her to Grove Junction and put her on a train there."

"What makes you think she'll go?"

"She'll go," Jarrod said. Then he made his way to one of the armchairs near the fireplace and sat down, turning his back on them.

Nick and Heath looked at each other. Nick said, loud enough for Jarrod to hear, "I'll eat in the bunkhouse," and he walked out the library door to the verandah and was gone.

"I reckon I better keep up with him," Heath said. "You should have told us about this before bringing her here, Jarrod."

"I couldn't," Jarrod said. "I didn't know she was coming today and I didn't know how bad it was going to be in town."

"All right," Heath said. "We'll patch this all up when she's gone."

Heath followed Nick out the door to the verandah. Jarrod heard it close, and sighed and rubbed his forehead. That's when he heard the door to the hallway open, and he heard the rush of his mother's skirt come in.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Jarrod didn't speak, didn't get up, didn't move at all. Victoria came to him and sat on the sofa opposite him, saying, "Miss Saxon is cleaning up for dinner. I wish you had given us some warning, Jarrod."

"I didn't have any to give," Jarrod said.

"How bad was it in town?"

"Bad," Jarrod said. "She couldn't stay there safely. She can't perform there. I don't know why she came here at all."

Victoria said. "She came to see you. You know that."

Jarrod hesitated. "Well, she can't stay. I'll put her on the train at Grove Junction in the morning."

Victoria said, "She's a beautiful woman. I can understand how easy it would be for a man to fall in love with her, especially a young man off at war, like Matt Parker. Like you."

Jarrod said, "Her beauty doesn't mean a thing to me anymore, Mother."

"But it did once. You were in love with her. Were you aware how much in love she was with you?"

Jarrod hesitated again and ended up saying, "That was a long time ago."

"Was it? She still loves you, Jarrod. Doesn't some part of you still love her, or the memory of it, or has the hate overwhelmed you over the years?"

"Mother, I haven't given her a thought over the years."

"Except when Matt Parker was killed."

Jarrod didn't say anything.

"Or maybe you don't know which it is, love or hate, or both, or neither," Victoria said. "Whatever it is, deal with it, and please don't take it out on Nick. We could hear you in the living room."

"I'm not angry with Nick," Jarrod said. "It's more like he's angry with me. He'll be eating in the bunkhouse. Heath will keep an eye on him."

"And we'll have as quiet a dinner as we can," Victoria said. "Whatever your feelings are toward Julia, Jarrod, I hope you can resolve them a bit while she's here. I think you need to."

Jarrod didn't say anything.

Victoria got up, kissed him on the forehead, and went out.

Jarrod just sat there. He ached, to have upset his family, to have brought Julia here when he knew the reception would be bad, but most of all to have loved her once. The old feelings were still there, underneath the guilt and resentment over Matt Parker. He wanted to keep them there, buried, but now, sitting here in his ever-present darkness, he remembered that once he had been in love and back then, it felt wonderful.

But now, nothing was ever feeling wonderful again. It never could. He was blind, and useless without an assistant, and certainly not a man a woman would fall in love with. All he had to remember of love was Julia Saxon, and it had long ago turned bitter and ugly. But it was all he had.

XXXXXXX

Dinner was only Victoria, Jarrod and Julia, and it was extraordinarily quiet. Nick and Heath avoided Julia completely. The next morning, Nick and Heath were back in the bunkhouse for breakfast, but they were watching from there when Clarence rolled up in the surrey and went into the house.

"Looks like they're leaving early," Heath said. "I guess Jarrod's serious about getting her on the train at Grove Junction."

"I hope so, and I hope she does it," Nick said. "She's nothing but trouble for everybody."

In a moment, Clarence was escorting Julia out to the surrey. Jarrod was behind them, carrying his briefcase, having only a little trouble locating the surrey before he climbed in beside Julia in the back seat. In another moment, Clarence moved the surrey out, Jarrod holding onto the side to keep his balance, Julia sitting straight with her head held high.

They barely got to the Stockton road before Julia cried, "No! Stop! I want to go to Stockton!"

"Keep going, Clarence," Jarrod said, "to Grove Junction."

"No!" Julia demanded and started to get up.

Jarrod felt her weight shift, and he pulled her back down. "Pull over, Clarence," he said, holding onto Julia.

Clarence pulled to the side of the road, right where the lane to the Barkley property joined it, and he waited.

Julia tried to wrench away, but Jarrod held tight. "Julia, get hold of yourself," he said. Then, he said, "Clarence, get lost for a minute or two. Give us some privacy."

Clarence climbed out of the surrey and made sure it was secured to the fencepost there at the property entrance before he wandered off a hundred feet or so and lit up a cigar. He watched, but he didn't listen. He really didn't have to listen to know what was going on.

"Julia, can't you see, if you go to Stockton you're only asking for trouble?" Jarrod said. "Matt Parker's brothers alone are going to be after your head, and there's no one there who can help you. I can't help you, surely you can see that."

Julia reached to touch his cheek, but he flinched away. She lowered her hand. "I know you hate me. I guess I didn't realize how much."

"I don't hate you, Julia," Jarrod said in a voice that lacked any emotion. "I just want you gone, for your sake as well as everyone else's."

Julia was silent for a moment, but Jarrod could tell he had just hurt her. "I loved you, Jarrod. I still love you. I'd have come here a long time ago, but it wasn't until now I worked up the courage to find out if you still might love me."

"I can't forgive and forget, Julia," Jarrod said.

"I know," she said, "but I guess I had hoped you'd try to understand, and maybe if you did, there might be something left of what we had."

"What I understand is that I introduced you to Matt Parker," Jarrod said, "and he's dead. I can't take you to Stockton, Julia. You can't perform there. It will only lead to trouble."

"I have a contract."

"MacGregor won't sue you. Go back to the south. You'll be welcomed there, even loved. That's not going to happen here. Here, you're just going to get hurt."

Julia was silent for a while. Jarrod wasn't sure what she was thinking until she said, "A long time ago, I was a young and ambitious girl who didn't know what she was doing. I got swept up in the cotillions and the glamour of the slave owning aristocrats and thought that was what I wanted, that kind of life, rich and famous, and all I had to do to have it was collect little bits and pieces of information that the aristocrats wanted. How could I be hurting anyone? Then I met you, and for the first time – for the only time, Jarrod, I fell in love, genuinely in love. But by then it was too late. I was trapped. After the war, I made my way through the south and I kept myself fed and housed but I never found – " She choked. She couldn't finish saying it. She couldn't put into words how empty her life had turned out.

"Julia," Jarrod said, "surely you can see that I can't give you what you're looking for, for more reasons than one. I can't forget Matt Parker would never have met you if it hadn't been for me, and I can't love you now. That doesn't mean I want to turn you over to his brothers or the other people in Stockton who would crucify you, and even destroy you. Please. For the memory of what we had once, get on the train at Grove Junction and go back to the south."

"You don't treasure what we had once," Julia said bitterly.

"Yes, I do," Jarrod said, "but it was once. It isn't anymore. It can't be anymore, no matter how much you might want it to be. I don't love you anymore."

Julia looked at him, at those beautiful blue eyes that had once looked at her with joy and love in them. Now they were blank, and it wasn't just because they were blind. The joy and love was gone. Had she taken that away from him as surely as she had taken life away from Matt Parker?

Because now she finally admitted to herself – she was responsible for what had happened to Matt Parker.

Julia touched Jarrod's face again for just a moment. He flinched again. She took her hand down. "I'm sorry, Jarrod," Julia said, "for everything. Take me to Grove Junction."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Everyone knew that Julia Saxon coming to Stockton had taken a lot out of Jarrod. For weeks he seemed more tired, more drawn. He didn't talk about it, and they didn't really understand what about her had hit him so hard. He knew, though. It wasn't just Matt Parker. It wasn't just because Julia reminded him of the much younger man who fell in love with her, a man who could see. It wasn't just the past that grated on him. It was a future that Julia somehow made him believe was lost in darkness. It was because he knew she wasn't what he wanted anymore, even if she wanted him. It was because he realized what kind of woman he did want - inner beauty mattered most, compassion as well as passion, kindness and devotion to him and the family they could have together.

Except that he was blind now. What did he have to offer a woman like that?

He found it harder and harder to concentrate on his work or even to smile. Even Audra had a hard time drawing him out, when she usually managed to do it just by bubbling over about something or other.

For his family, it got to be worrisome. It got to be too much of a reminder of the first few days after Jarrod was blinded, when he pulled so far inside of himself that he'd sit in his room in the dark, taking his meals alone, silent and sullen almost all of the time. "Is his attitude affecting his work?" Victoria finally asked Clarence after he and Jarrod had come home one day. Jarrod had gone upstairs to clean up.

Clarence sighed. "It is. He certainly seems to be caught in a 'what might have been' mood, and not just about Julia Saxon. About everything, especially his blindness."

"Perhaps I should talk to him," Victoria said.

"Why don't you let me do that, Mother?" Clarence said. "We've become very close since we've been working together, and I've been looking for an opening. And oddly enough, the fact that he has never seen me might make it a little easier to talk to me."

Victoria looked surprised.

Clarence said, "If he's trapped in 'what might have been,' at least with me he doesn't have to deal with 'what used to be' too. If you talk to him, he'll be seeing you in his mind's eye and it'll hurt him. Me, he's never seen. There won't be any longing there."

"You have a point," Victoria said.

"Why don't I go get Audra and we'll come back for dinner? After dinner, I'll take Jarrod out for a walk, and we'll talk."

Victoria smiled and nodded. "Thank you, Clarence. You know," she added, "sometimes I think you've been heaven sent."

Clarence smiled and kissed her forehead.

Jarrod didn't suspect anything when Clarence fetched Audra and they came for dinner. That was not an unusual occurrence, but he did get a little uneasy when Clarence suggested they take a walk after dinner. Clarence took him by the arm, they lit cigars and strolled out in the stable yard, and Jarrod was certain Clarence was about to tell him he was going to leave the firm and strike out on his own. He'd been expecting that for a while. It made sense. He'd been feeling like he was only dragging Clarence down now, not mentoring him anymore, especially given the mood he'd been in lately.

So, he was surprised when Clarence simply said, "You haven't been yourself, Jarrod, and everybody's worried about you. You've gotten yourself wound up in a 'what might have been' mood since Julia Saxon was here, and it's clear it's because you loved her once and she reminded you of what you didn't have, including your eyesight. Mother wanted to talk to you about it, but I thought it would be better if we talked, you and I, partner to partner."

Jarrod wondered what to say. Clarence already seemed to know the problem without Jarrod having to say anything, and apparently so did the rest of the family. Were his feelings that transparent?

Clarence said, "Jarrod, have you ever in the deepest part of your heart, maybe in the middle of the night when you wake up and can't go back to sleep – have you ever really wondered what your life might have been like if you hadn't lost your sight, or if you had regained it? I mean, really thought about it, not just felt sorry for yourself about it."

"I don't feel sorry for myself," Jarrod said.

"All right, maybe that was a poor choice of words. Maybe it's more like you feel hamstrung by that feeling that life would have been better for you if you hadn't been blinded, but have you ever really, really thought about it?"

"No," Jarrod said quickly. "That's a road I never want to go down."

"Why? Do you just assume it would have been better?"

"I'm totally blind, Clarence," Jarrod said, sighing with resignation. "I don't even know when it is the middle of the night. To me, it's always the middle of the night. When this first happened, after the first month or so, I stopped wondering what my life would be like if my sight came back, because it wasn't coming back. I haven't allowed myself to wonder. I – " He fumbled. "I can't bear it," he finally said.

"Because you assume it would have been better? Why do you make that assumption?"

Jarrod choked a laugh. "Are you telling me it could have been worse?"

"Yes, it could have been. Think about things that have happened, how they might have happened differently if you could see. Some of them, it's obvious, might not have been better."

"Clarence, you don't know what you're talking about."

"John Cole was severely wounded in a depot hold-up by the Dunigan brothers. That would have been you in there if you were sighted. You might have been killed and left your family devastated."

Jarrod had to admit, Clarence was right about that. He'd have been there instead of John Cole, but, "It's reaching a lot to say I'd have been killed."

"Well, you would have been shot, that's pretty clear, and you'd have been hurt at least as bad as John Cole was. And what about Cass Hyatt?"

"What about him?"

"He laughed at your blindness. It was enough for him. He didn't try to kill you. If you were sighted, he might have killed you, or killed someone around you trying to get to you."

Jarrod heaved a sigh. "Clarence, we can't speculate what might have happened. We just can't know."

"No, not entirely, not with 100% certainty," Clarence said. "But we do know you would have been places you can't go now. We do know in those two cases, disaster might have happened that you averted, because you're blind. I'm not saying that you should think that maybe it's not so bad being blind, but Jarrod, there is a strong possibility that if you were not blind, you'd be dead now. Think about that."

Jarrod had to admit to himself, he hadn't thought about those possibilities. When he thought about them now, he wasn't sure what to do with the thoughts. He actually didn't want to think things might have been worse if he weren't blind. If things hadn't been this way, wasn't it possible they might have been better? Wasn't that as possible as dying in the train depot, or dying by Cass Hyatt's hand?

But did it matter anyway? He was blind. He would always be blind. Maybe he would have been dead otherwise, but he was alive, and he was blind.

Clarence said, "I for one am glad you're alive, even if you are blind. I'd never have met you if you weren't. I'd never have met my wife and I wouldn't be expecting our first child with her. I'd have never had you for my mentor. Jarrod, if I could give you one of my eyes, I would, but I can't. I can only be grateful for what is, and that is that you're alive and part of my life."

Jarrod gave a sad laugh. "Actually, I am grateful for that, too, all of it. It's just – well, like you said. Lately I've gotten wound up in what might have been and think it had to have been better. I never considered things might have been worse."

"I don't mean to make you feel worse than you already do," Clarence said. "I'm told I have a pretty good feel for events, for how things are and how they might have been different. I don't know if that's true, but I do seem to be able to find my way happily through the mire sometimes just by reading the signs that I see but other people don't. I just want to help you find your way happily through your mire."

Jarrod gave a happier laugh. "You have helped me, Clarence, more than I can tell you, and you have a real point. I might have been dead months ago if I weren't blind. Maybe what might have been might not have been so good."

"Well, just think about it," Clarence said. "But don't think too hard. Come back to us. Don't get lost in the past. If the future is still too tough to think about, at least come back to the present."

"You've made your point," Jarrod said. "I'll do better."

XXXXX

Jarrod did perk up, bit by bit, but it was a couple weeks before something happened that really seemed to pull him back to the present. Audra and Clarence had come for dinner, when Audra suddenly cried, "Oh!" and sat up straight on the settee next to her mother.

Jarrod suddenly sensed something, something not bad even if she did sound startled. There was a little bit of a laugh in her voice.

"What is it?" Clarence, standing near the mantle next to where Jarrod was sitting, asked and moved toward her. Everyone but Jarrod moved a little toward her, and he leaned forward in his chair.

But Audra smiled. "The baby kicked!"

Everyone laughed, and Clarence came to his wife. He put his hand on her now noticeably larger abdomen, and suddenly he laughed too. "You're right! He did!"

"_She_ did," Audra corrected him.

"Is this the first time you've felt him or her?" Victoria asked.

"Yes," Audra beamed. "Oh, Mother, how wonderful!"

Victoria laughed. "We'll see how wonderful it is in a couple months when you can't see your feet anymore and he or she is leaning on your stomach."

Audra straightened again. "Oh, there it is again!"

"Somebody's trying to get more comfortable," Victoria said.

Audra beamed - but suddenly she noticed that Jarrod was smiling too.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Audra suddenly noticed Jarrod was smiling. It was a sweet smile, a loving smile, one that had been missing since Julia Saxon was here. "Jarrod – come here – feel this!"

Jarrod blubbered. "Oh, I can't – I don't know – "

Clarence reached for his brother-in-law's arm. "You've been invited," he said. "Never turn your little sister down, haven't you learned that yet?"

Jarrod got up and let Clarence guide him to where Audra sat. "I suppose I did learn that one a while back."

Clarence moved Jarrod closer to his wife, and he took Jarrod's hand and guided it to Audra's belly. Jarrod shivered. He hadn't touched his sister like this since he tickled her when she was little, but now, he was sharing an incredibly intimate moment with her and her husband. In his darkness, he could feel genuine closeness to people he loved. This was life. This was light.

And the baby gave another lusty kick. "Oh!" Jarrod laughed. "He's not only getting comfortable, he's rearranging the furniture!"

Jarrod couldn't see his family members grinning at each other, not just for Audra, but for him, too. Something on his face, something in his eyes, was more alive than it had been for weeks. Maybe Jarrod didn't know it was showing to the others, but he was feeling it. He wanted it.

No more brooding over what had been once, long ago when he was young and could see. Life was different now. Life had to change, but it could still be life. The moment he felt his niece or nephew move under his hand, he knew completely that it was time to climb out of the past and more important, make a new future. He wasn't sure how yet, but he was sure it had to be.

His thoughts began to gel when he heard Audra and Clarence discussing how many children they might want. It was a private conversation that they were having after dinner, out on the back porch swing, but Jarrod was not far away, taking a walk in the dark stable yard, using his cane. He realized they couldn't see him out there when they started talking about how many children they might be able to afford. Clarence said to Audra, "I suppose at some point I'm going to have to strike out on my own if I'm going to make enough money to support a family."

Audra said, "But Jarrod can't work without an assistant, and you've been so good for him, I just can't picture him working with anyone else."

"He's been good for me, too," Clarence said. "I'd never have learned as much as I have working for anyone else, and frankly, I don't want to up and leave him high and dry. I know I need to have my own firm, but I really just don't want to leave him." Then he laughed a little. "I don't think I can see anyone else in my place either. I'd be jealous!"

Audra laughed a little too, and down in the darkness even Jarrod smiled. Then he started thinking, and he remembered the idea he had before, and his smile grew.

"Retire?!" Victoria blurted when Jarrod brought the subject up the next day. "You want to retire?!"

"Yes," Jarrod said, still smiling.

"Why, in heaven's name?" Victoria asked. "Your career is going well, you and Clarence are working together famously – "

"But Clarence is starting a family and he needs his own firm," Jarrod said. "Ours is ready made for him. Our clients trust him and enjoy working with him. I can hand them over to him with no qualms at all, and the firm would be his. The income would be his, except for paying me off a bit at a time for my half of the partnership. Don't you see, Mother? He's earned it. He's earned his own practice, and he needs the income. And he sure doesn't need to be saddled with me anymore."

"Saddled?!" Victoria blurted again. "You haven't saddled anyone with anything!"

"Of course, I have," Jarrod said.

"You've brought him along and helped to make him a fine lawyer!"

"I know I have, but it's time for him to spread his own wings, and it's time for me to put my practice aside. He's ready, and he needs this, and I'm tired."

Tired. That upset Victoria. "Jarrod, you can't just put everything down and slip off into oblivion."

"Oh, Good Lord, that's not what I'm talking about," Jarrod quickly said. "Retirement won't mean stopping. It'll mean changing, rejuvenating."

"And doing what?"

"I don't know. Teaching, maybe. I've liked bringing Clarence along as a new lawyer. I can do that again, with even more young lawyers. Maybe I'll teach little children! I'm looking for something new, Mother, and now, with Audra and Clarence starting their family, this is the time for me to do it, and help them along, too."

Victoria sighed. She couldn't fault his logic, but, "Jarrod, you're just turning 35. You'll be retired for a long time."

"No, I'll be working at something different for a long time." He wasn't exactly sure how far away she was standing, but he reached for her, and she came into his arms. "I've loved being a lawyer, Mother, but it's not something I can do alone and I can't lean on Clarence forever. He needs something of his own, and our firm is exactly what he needs."

"Are you still going to do the family work?" Victoria asked.

"No, Clarence is, and since he doesn't live here, you're going to be paying him to do it," Jarrod said.

"You're driving a hard bargain for your client, Counselor," Victoria said.

Jarrod laughed a little. "My client deserves it, and so does your granddaughter or grandson. Clarence and Audra can have a wonderful life with a house full of children, Mother, and I want to help them get it."

Victoria sighed again. "You've been an excellent big brother all of your life, you know that?

"I don't intend to stop," Jarrod said. "I just intend to change my own life a bit and benefit theirs in the bargain. Believe me, Mother, I will work this all out, and Clarence and I will work it all out, and it will be one of the best things I ever did. I'm sure of that."

"Have you thought about running for public office?" Victoria suggested. "You'd be a good senator."

"Perhaps, but the political life is not for me. I'm looking for a happy retirement, doing something that energizes me, not something that drags me around all the time."

"So, you're leaning toward teaching."

"Right now, yes, I am, but I'm still thinking and evaluating and we have a way to go in working this out. But I want a new life, Mother, and I want Clarence and Audra to have their chance, too."

"All right," Victoria said. "I'm with you."

Jarrod kissed her forehead. "I knew I could count on you."

XXXXXXX

It was only the next day when Jarrod took up the subject with Clarence. They were in the office in town, getting ready to prepare for a negotiation in Denver over the sale of a mine one of their clients had in Colorado. It was going to be a long trip – the longest Jarrod had taken since he was blinded – but it really didn't give either one of them pause. What Jarrod wanted to talk about were his plans for when they got back home.

"You may not like this, but on the other hand, you may," Jarrod started off as he sat down behind his desk. He heard Clarence sit down in front of it. "This trip to Denver is going to be my last hurrah as an attorney. I'm planning to retire when we get home."

Clarence was silent at first, but when he finally spoke, he said, "Well, I'm actually not surprised."

Jarrod was. "You're not surprised? What, have you been reading my mind again?"

Clarence laughed. "No, but I think you might be reading mine. I've been wondering if it's getting to be time for me to strike out on my own."

"I was sure you were," Jarrod said, "and I know I've been far too gloomy over the past few weeks for you to think a lot about it but you pulled me out a bit, and then Audra pulled me out completely. When I felt that baby kick, I knew you two were on the verge of a big step forward in your lives and you need to be starting your own practice to support the family you're going to have. But then I realized, you don't need to start one. You already have one. This one."

Clarence couldn't help but smile at the peaceful look on Jarrod's face. "You really mean that, don't you?"

"I really do," Jarrod said. "For me as well as for you, it's time for you to take over this firm."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Clarence understood Jarrod's feelings completely, and he appreciated them more than he could ever say. His brother-in-law was about to hand over his life's work to him, and he felt perfectly comfortable and happy doing it. "Jarrod, there are advantages to you if you retire, but are you sure it's what you want for you, not just for me and Audra?"

"Yes, it is," Jarrod said. "We'll work out an agreement whereby you can pay me over time for my half of the partnership. It'll be an income for me, and it will mean more income for you."

"And what will you do?"

"I don't know. Teach, maybe. Mentor some other young attorney. I'll figure it out. We have to go to Denver next week, but when we get back, we're going to dissolve this partnership, and the firm will be yours."

"I'm flabbergasted," Clarence said, "and I'm honored more than I can ever say."

"I can be available to help out now and then if you need it," Jarrod said, "but I'm betting you're not gonna need it, not much anyway. Believe me, Clarence, I'm as excited as you are about this change. I'm ready to let go of that past we talked about. I'm ready to try something new."

"All right, but I want you to think about something else," Clarence said. "You deserve a wife and a family."

Jarrod laughed out loud, an ironic but not really angry or hurt laugh. "Who would want to marry a blind man?"

"A blind man as capable as you are? More than one woman, I'd venture – if you took the time to let it happen, and if you retire, you'll have the time."

Jarrod laughed again. "Well, that's definitely true. You do tend to see the bright side of my misfortune, don't you?"

"I'm told I tend to try to find something good in everything, especially in the bad," Clarence said.

Jarrod laughed one more time. "Yes, I admit it, you do seem to have that way. But this isn't bad. This is good for me, for you, for Audra, for your son or daughter and all the children to come. I'm happy with this."

"Thank you, Jarrod," Clarence said. "Those words seem very inadequate, but thank you."

"All right," Jarrod said. "Let's get to work on this Denver thing and get the future ball rolling."

XXXXX

A week later, it was time to go to Denver, and Victoria fussed so much over Jarrod's wellbeing that he finally had to say, "Enough, Mother! I'm not going off to war, I'm just going to Denver!"

"Farther than you've been since you were hurt," Victoria said.

"Clarence will be with me and he will take good care of me."

"And when you get back – " She almost choked now. "When you get back, you'll be giving up your law practice."

"And I'll be doing something else," Jarrod said. "Something easier, something maybe even more gratifying, who knows? It's just time, Mother. It'll be good for Clarence and Audra, and it'll be good for me. I'm resolved."

"If you change your mind on this trip – "

"If I change my mind, you will be the first to know, after Clarence."

The whole family, Audra included, saw them off at the train depot. Nick was full of advice about what to do, what to watch out for, what Clarence should do to keep Jarrod from falling on the train, and Jarrod finally said, "For heaven's sake, Nick, I won't get up or move without Clarence holding my hand, how's that?"

"All right, all right," Nick said. "Just come home safe, all right?"

"I fully intend to," Jarrod said.

Audra gave her husband a warm hug and a long kiss. "You watch out for yourself, as well as for Jarrod."

"We'll be fine," Clarence said. "You watch out for yourself, too."

"I'll be with Mother. She'll look out for me, and I'll look out for her."

"I'm not sure which of you is going to have the harder job."

The train rolled in and the Barkley family car was hooked up to it. Nick had to fuss some more. As Heath and Audra laughed at him, he helped Jarrod climb aboard and helped Clarence get him settled in their car. Their old friend and porter Charles, the man with the grin as big as the sunshine, was there to help out, and he said, very sincerely, "Don't worry, Mr. Nick. I'll make sure they're both taken care of."

"See?" Jarrod said. "I've got the best assistance I could have. Get off this train, Nick."

"All right, all right," Nick said, and he looked at Clarence. "You wire us as soon as you get off in Denver."

"I'll wire you as soon as we get off in Denver," Clarence agreed with a laugh.

Nick got off the train, and Jarrod sighed in relief. "I hope I was never as overbearing a brother as he just was."

Clarence laughed.

XXXXXXX

The trip on the train to Denver was one Jarrod felt in his body, but could only see in his mind. He remembered the Sierras, the Salt Flats, that beautiful Colorado River and the fantastic mountains in Colorado. He felt the train descending from the mountains, slowly making its way down and around and into Denver. He remembered it all so fondly, and he ached that he couldn't see it again now, but by the time they rolled into Denver, he was all right.

Charles took care of getting the baggage off the train, and Clarence took care of getting a baggage handler and a hack to gather them up and get them to the hotel where they'd be staying. Jarrod knew the hotel well – he'd stayed there often before. Funny, this time he could actually smell the wood paneling all over the lobby. He'd never noticed the scent before.

He did not see the surprised look on the face of the desk clerk, but when he heard, "Mr. Barkley! My goodness, it's been years!" he recognized the voice right away. The clerk's name was Stanley, and he had a slightly high-pitched voice that sounded like sandpaper.

Jarrod smiled. "Stanley, how are you?"

"I've been very well, but – " Stanley got stuck.

"Don't fret, Stanley," Jarrod said. "You haven't seen me because I was blinded in an explosion and I just haven't traveled much. This is my law partner and brother-in-law, Clarence Robinson. Instead of my old room, we need a suite, if you have one available."

"We certainly do," Stanley said, "and I'm sorry for your misfortune, Mr. Barkley, but it is awfully good to see you again."

"Well, I'm afraid this might be my last trip to Denver," Jarrod said. "When we get back to California, I'm turning the firm over to Mr. Robinson here and retiring."

"Retiring?! You're a young man, Mr. Barkley!"

Jarrod laughed. "Thank you for that, but I'm looking at other lines of work. It's time to move on. You can only practice law for so long before you turn into a book."

"Well, whatever you do, Mr. Barkley, I wish you well, and you'll always be welcome back here in Denver."

A bellman took them up to their suite on the topmost floor. When they went inside, Clarence looked around and explained the layout of the suite to Jarrod before helping him to the most comfortable looking chair in the room. Clarence tipped the bellman and said, "Why don't you relax a bit and I'll unpack for us."

"I'll do my own," Jarrod said, getting up. "Which bedroom is mine?"

Clarence grabbed Jarrod's bag and then took him by the arm. "There's a sofa right in front of you that we have to get around, but then the bedroom is about six paces beyond that."

Clarence took Jarrod to his bedroom, helped him scope out where the wc and the closet were, and got him started on unpacking. Then he left him alone with a "yell if you need me," and he went to unpack his own bag.

It didn't take either of them very long, and when Clarence took a look at Jarrod's closet, it looked pretty good. The clothes were hanging properly, not wrinkling. For someone who had never really unpacked in the dark before, Jarrod did fine.

In the living area, Jarrod checked his watch. "I suppose we ought to consider dinner. It's getting on toward eight o'clock."

"We don't meet on the mine sale until one o'clock tomorrow," Clarence said. "We can relax tonight and unwind from that long train trip."

"That sounds good. We can prepare in the morning. Right now, I could use a nice smooth scotch and if memory serves, they have some mighty fine scotch down in the hotel restaurant."

"Then let's go."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

They had a fine dinner together, then relaxed a bit in the bar. In the morning, they went to work preparing for the negotiations, which got started after lunch. They knew they were not going to finish on this day and probably not the next either, and they were right. Things were cordial enough, but they were nowhere near agreement on price and other terms at the end of the day.

Again, they ate dinner and relaxed a bit in the bar. Jarrod said, "My recollection of this bar is that it's full of businessmen making deals."

Clarence looked. "Yeah. This looks like a businessman's place. Listen close and I bet you can hear a few deals going down."

Jarrod chuckled. "I've made a few deals here myself over the years."

"Have you been thinking any more about your retirement? Are you still sure you want to do it?"

"Oh, yes, I'm sure. And I think I'm still leaning toward teaching, probably law, but every now and then – " He smiled. "Every now and then I like the idea of a room full of little kids giggling away."

"You know, I haven't mentioned it, but I ought to. I have a cousin here in Denver, a school teacher. I haven't seen her in years, but maybe I should contact her so we can get together and you can pick her brain."

"You've never mentioned your family very much, Clarence."

"That's because all I have are cousins, nothing closer, and they're kind of scattered here and there."

"Well, let's see how tomorrow goes and decide if we'll have time to meet your cousin while we're here. Until we get these negotiations completed and the contract signed, I'm afraid I'm not going to be thinking much about retirement."

XXXXXXX

The next day's negotiations were, unfortunately, a bit more contentious than the first day's. The parties got settled on a price, but stalled on the financing, and things got heated when the proposed lender turned out to be a bank Jarrod had done business with before and not happily. Once they squared away Jarrod's problems on that, disagreement cropped up on warrantees the buyer wanted about production in the mine. Jarrod's sellers didn't want to give any – the buyer wanted big fat ones.

"This sure isn't going the way I hoped it would," Clarence said to Jarrod privately, during a break.

"It's a little more rowdy than I expected, too," Jarrod said, "but if we keep banging away at it, we'll probably hammer it into place. I wouldn't mind putting the cap on my career with this deal, so lets not give up on things yet."

By the time the end of the day rolled around, they had not made a lot of progress, but they determined to meet again in the morning and try again. Exhausted, his head aching, Jarrod wanted nothing but a good stiff drink and some bar food for dinner, so they were back in the hotel bar for the third night in a row.

"You boys don't look too happy tonight," the bartender said.

"Rough day," Jarrod said. "Negotiations on the sale of a mine."

The bartender whistled. "Lots of money. Talks are never easy when lots of money is on the line."

Jarrod laughed. "I'm sure you've heard your share of tales of woe in here."

"You name it, I've heard it," the bartender said.

Jarrod and Clarence drank and ate at the bar, and things did loosen up for them. They talked more about the negotiations and where they could go with things tomorrow to try to get the talks to loosen up, too. Jarrod remembered a few times in the past when he'd had to get around roadblocks in negotiations, and he and Clarence discussed things that had happened before that might make the talks tomorrow easier.

As they ate and drank, they grew more tired and more quiet. Jarrod listened to the voices and the noise of glasses clinking around him. He actually found himself nodding off, and Clarence spotted it.

"All right, I think we'd better call it quits for the night," Clarence said.

Jarrod perked up. "You know, one of the things about being blind is that sounds tend to hypnotize you more easily. I could have curled up right here on top of the bar."

"No, you couldn't," the bartender said, overhearing them.

Jarrod and Clarence both laughed, bid him good night, and went up to their suite.

The next day was another tough day, but toward the end of the day, decisions began to come more easily and progress was made. The parties agreed that the next day might very well result in a contract, and as it turned out, it did. Very suddenly, the logjam broke, a contract was typed up, and then it was signed. The deed was executed. The buyers had the money wired to the proper account in San Francisco and deed in hand, they were on their way to the proper courthouse in the proper county in Colorado to file it. That fast, it was all over and done.

And Jarrod and Clarence were standing in the street, all alone, all satisfied, and Jarrod – all finished with a respected and happy legal career. It was bittersweet, to be standing there with the sounds of a town he did not live in all around him, his last project wrapped up, his future lying ahead but so far completely a blank and lying behind that black wall that was his constant companion now and always would be.

"Having second thoughts?" Clarence asked.

"Hm?" Jarrod said.

"About retiring."

"Oh, no," Jarrod said. "Just feeling a little funny, my career over so suddenly today. Two years ago, if you told me I'd be a blind man on a corner in Denver with my future a big question mark, I'd have laughed at you. But here I am."

"Scared?" Clarence asked.

"Yeah," Jarrod said. "Scared. Sorry. Excited too, though. Wow, life can really knock you for a loop, can't it?"

"It doesn't sound like you're knocked for a loop," Clarence said. "Your feet are firmly on the ground, I'd say."

Jarrod chuckled. "But which direction do I start moving them in? That's the question."

"West, to Stockton. To start that new life among people who love you."

"It'll take a day to get the railcar arranged to go west."

"We can go over to the depot now if you like."

"The morning is good enough. Let's go get a drink and some food."

They started walking down the street toward their hotel, and Jarrod started thinking some more about this retirement he was moving into. "How about we arrange to meet this cousin of yours tomorrow, if she's available? I'd like to hear about teaching school."

"Are you sure you're ready for that?" Clarence asked.

"Now that this mine deal is done, yes, I'm ready to think about my retirement career."

Clarence laughed at his choice of words. "I'll have the hotel get a message to her. Maybe we can have dinner together tomorrow."

"Is your cousin married?" Jarrod asked.

Clarence laughed again. "The last I heard she was not married, and I suspect she still isn't if she's still teaching school. Why? Are you taking to heart my suggestion you use some of your retirement time to find yourself a wife?"

It was Jarrod's turn to chuckle. "I was just thinking about a few things you've said. About how if I weren't blind, my life might have ended months ago in a train depot robbery or at the hand of a man who hated me for prosecuting him seven years ago. About how I ought to think about having a wife and children in my retirement years."

Clarence said, "You remember how I told you I have a pretty good feel for events and how things are and how they might be different?"

"Yeah."

"I think it's a good idea you keep your mind and your options open. I think things are gonna surprise you."

Jarrod laughed a little again. "Maybe – though I'm still doubtful I'll stumble across that special woman who would fall in love with a blind man and want to spend her life with him."

"You're a fine man, and a wealthy one."

"Oh, I wouldn't want a woman just after my wealth. I'd want a woman to share all of my life, to be with me, to give me little kids I can play with on the floor. Not just to do my cooking and cleaning either. A woman who's bright, who can share my love of music and theatre and very fine wines. Who can talk to me plainly and bring me up short when I need it."

"That's a special woman you have in mind."

"Which is probably why I don't think I'll find her, but I'll keep dreaming. A man can dream. In the meantime, I hope I'll get to enjoy your cousin's company and she can teach me a few things about being a teacher. What's her name, anyway?"

"Elizabeth," Clarence said. "Elizabeth Randall. We always called her Beth."

"Beth Randall," Jarrod said thoughtfully. "Nice name."

_Epilogue to follow_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Epilogue

_Jarrod Barkley hadn't been with a woman – any woman – since he lost his vision more than a year earlier. He admitted to himself, although not to anyone else, that he was simply too nervous to even consider it. Being blind had made him feel inadequate about too many things, and even as things like his legal abilities were recovering, they and a lot of other things would never be what they were. Being with a woman, fumbling around in the dark trying to please her and himself, was one thing when the darkness was simply because the lights weren't on. When it was solid and permanent and you could never turn the lights on, it was a totally different story. You couldn't see her body, and you couldn't see if she was pleased with yours. As Jarrod had to admit, his experience before being blinded was that he had chosen partners who were pleased with his and he liked that a lot. It made for a lot of confidence that he just didn't have anymore._

_Which was why he was startled when Beth Randall took his hand, saying, "I'm pleased to meet you, Mr. Barkley." Hands coming to him out of his darkness were usually cold, sometimes shaky, often uncomfortable to be touching a blind man, but Beth's hand was warm, soft, startlingly so. It felt like silk. He actually didn't want to let it go._

Jarrod moved his right hand to touch his wife's left hand, still as soft as silk and warm as a late spring day. He and his family were coming from San Francisco, where they lived, to visit the rest of the family in Stockton.

Jarrod daydreamed a lot when traveling. Unable to look at the scenery, he looked inward and remembered things that made him smile. He thought about that day in Denver four years ago a lot, and he always smiled at the memory. He was thinking about it now as the train headed toward Stockton, as he and Beth sat side by side in first class, each of them holding a three-year-old asleep on their laps. Eva Marie (called "Evy") and Victoria Ann (called "Vicki") were identical twins, generally sweet little girls unless they were tired, when they got cranky, but that's what little girls really were made of.

His life had changed so completely since that day in Denver when he first touched Beth's hand. He remembered how she had flipped his world into the air and caught it in her heart on the way down. Planning a retirement that would turn his law firm over to his partner and brother-in-law Clarence Robinson, he was contemplating teaching as a "retirement career," and Beth was a teacher. Clarence wanted her to talk to Jarrod about teaching, but Jarrod came to know very quickly that wasn't the only reason Clarence wanted him to meet Beth.

Not that her advice about him becoming a teacher wasn't sound. It was. It had changed his life. He could still hear her voice from that very first conversation they'd had.

"_Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it true that new attorneys are trained the way you trained Clarence – by a practicing attorney working with them closely? I think it's called 'reading law.'"_

_Jarrod was impressed that she knew that. "That's true, at least west of the Mississippi. I did attend law school back east, and Clarence did too, but attending law school and practicing law are two different things."_

"_You don't finish your education in law school," Clarence said. "You pretty much have to work with a practicing attorney to learn the profession, whether you go to law school or not."_

"_And you've enjoyed having Clarence work with you?" Beth asked._

"_Yes, I have."_

"_Well," Beth said, "being honest, I have to tell you, that teaching children is probably not for you. They need a lot of looking after, and I mean that literally. Not only do you teach them many things they – and you – need vision for. They can be a herd of little devils when they want to be."_

_Maybe her honesty was brutal, but Jarrod had to chuckle at her depiction of a herd of little devils. One thing he did like about being blind – he found it easier to translate words into pictures, and right now he was picturing a lot of little children with horns, dressed in red and carrying toy pitchforks, running around a school room._

_Beth was a little surprised at his reaction. She thought her bluntness might be offensive, but he didn't seem to find it that way. She smiled and went on. "To teach children, you need vision," she said, "but to train lawyers – apparently not. You've trained Clarence. I think the teaching you want to do is with adults, training lawyers."_

Beth had been so very right, and Jarrod was especially grateful for her advice when an offer came from the law firm of Jarrod's old friend Nat Springer. Clarence had talked to him in San Francisco, and Nat wanted to explore the possibility of Jarrod hiring on as the lawyer in his growing law firm who would be in charge of the new associates who were "reading law."

Beth had remained in Denver, but before he and Clarence left, Jarrod asked for and got permission for a moment that moved both him and Beth to the core.

_"May I see you?" he asked. "With my fingers - it's the way I 'see' things. I touch them. May I touch you?"_

_Beth shivered. "Yes."_

_Jarrod reached slowly, letting both hands find her hair first, then her forehead. Beth closed her eyes, luxuriating in the sensations as his fingers drifted over her cheeks, her nose, her lips, her chin, then slightly down her neck before he moved them away. "You're lovely," Jarrod said._

_"You make me feel that way," she said. And he kissed her for the first time._

They had come to care for each other so much in just two days that Jarrod had started writing to her as soon as he and Clarence got home. The letters had to be prim and proper, since someone had to read Beth's to Jarrod. He had mastered writing his own letters by then and could write his own feelings to her, but she had to be more careful. They managed to work out a sort of code, and by the time Nat Springer's offer came, they knew how to tell each other more intimate things.

Jarrod traveled to San Francisco for the first time since retiring, talked to Nat, and been offered the job on the spot. He took it. He wrote to Beth.

_Please come to San Francisco. I have a home here where Clarence stays with me when he is in town. Come be with me for a little while and see if you could learn to love it here, and to love me enough to marry me, because I am asking you to marry me, Beth._

_Beth had responded in their code language. "Never too late," she said, a code he had come to understand to mean, "I really, really want to be with you and I don't mean for just a few hours." And then she said, no code involved, "Yes, I will marry you."_

It was only a week after she arrived that the two of them were married. Whirlwind, but not really, not after all the letters back and forth, not after the soft, warm touch of her hand became a regular presence in his day.

They married in Stockton but were living in San Francisco permanently. Jarrod began mentoring the new associates in Nat's firm – which also meant trying cases in court with his students assisting, and then assisting his charges in doing the same thing. Beth's plans to find a teaching position had to be put on hold, because she became pregnant pretty quickly.

"_I marvel at how you've changed my life and how much I've gained when I once thought I had lost everything," Jarrod said when she told him she would have a baby._

"_Let's see if you feel that way when this baby wants to be fed at three o'clock in the morning, and changed every time you turn around," Beth said._

It had turned out to be two hungry babies squealing in the middle of the night. Beth and her doctor had worked out a system for her to store her milk and she could feed one baby while Jarrod fed the other from a bottle. More than once they practically fell asleep against one another while Evy and Vicky fell asleep in their arms.

"_Are you ever sorry you married a blind man?" Jarrod asked, but only once, when he'd accidentally tripped, fallen on the stairs and broken his left wrist._

"_Never," Beth had said. "Even one who breaks a wrist to get out of changing diapers."_

"We just crossed that last creek before we get into Stockton," Beth said.

That meant they had about three minutes to get the girls and their things together. The porter came to help them with their bags even before the train stopped. As it jerked to a halt, Jarrod and Beth got up, and Evy and Vicki woke up.

Vicki rubbed her eyes and said, "I'm thirsty."

"We'll get you a drink in just a moment," Beth said.

"Are we at Grandma's house?" Evy asked.

"Not just yet," Jarrod said. "We still have a wagon ride to get there."

They detrained, and in a moment Jarrod heard the jingle of Nick's spurs and the happy voices of his brothers and brother-in-law. Everyone was talking, greeting each other. Jarrod felt his back slapped several times and there was more than one "Welcome home!" in the air.

"How's the firm doing, Clarence?" Jarrod always asked first. The law firm, his other baby, still growing up.

Clarence usually said it was doing fine, but his time he said, "Well, I lost Mr. Banner a couple weeks ago – he finally passed from that cancer."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Jarrod said. Josh Banner had been one of his first clients. Jarrod was grateful he remembered him as a young, healthy man, not a man ravaged by cancer.

"But Stockton is growing, and I picked up one of the new freight line owners as a client," Clarence said. "Audra and I are doing very well."

"Indeed we are," Audra's voice came.

"Audra!" Jarrod said and reached an arm toward her. In a moment she kissed his cheek. "I didn't know you were here!"

"I'm here, too," Victoria's voice came and soon she was kissing him.

"Wow, the whole clan," Jarrod said.

"Plus two," Nick said.

"The kids?" Jarrod asked Clarence.

"No, they're with the nursemaid at home," Clarence said. "Two young ladies you haven't met yet., Betty and Louisa North."

"Sisters," Nick said. "They're waiting in the depot."

"Sisters," Jarrod repeated.

"Soon to be in-laws," Heath said. "Nick and I have both proposed, and they both said yes."

"Wait a minute!" Jarrod said. "I haven't even met them yet!"

"Pappy's back," Heath said to Nick.

"They're lovely women," Victoria said. "What they see in Nick and Heath, I don't know, but you'll be happy to welcome them to the family."

Clarence said, "Their family hired me to write their wills when they moved to California. I introduced Nick and Heath to them before anybody else could snatch them up."

"I should have known," Jarrod said.

Beth was laughing at all this, but Evy and Vicki were beginning to wriggle. "I'm thirsty," Vicki repeated.

"Betty and Louisa have lemonade waiting inside," Audra said.

"Oh, I like them already," Jarrod said.

"Put me down, Daddy," Evy said.

Jarrod put her on her feet, and she took hold of his hand. He felt Vicki take hold of his other hand. Since they had really gotten to be stable walkers, they always insisted on taking his hands and walking with him. Jarrod ate it up.

_Dear God, I'm so happy_, Jarrod thought to himself. _Everything I ever wanted, I have_. And when he thought about that these days, he didn't even think about the fact that he didn't have his vision. Not that it didn't matter – it did. But everything else – his family, his "retirement career," everything – just filled him with such joy that he couldn't deny it.

He felt his wife's soft, silky hand against his cheek, and he kissed it.

_Life will be good, eyes or no eyes._

Jarrod remembered saying that to Beth when he proposed, and now she was remembering it too. "You were right," she said. "Life is good. Thank you for giving it to me."

"Thank you for giving it to me," Jarrod said.

Jarrod remembered what Clarence had said to him to help pull him out of his doldrums after Julia Saxon had come to Stockton. _I'm not saying that you should think that maybe it's not so bad being blind, but Jarrod, there is a strong possibility that if you were not blind, you'd be dead now._

Jarrod thanked God over and over that he was not dead, and if Clarence had been right – if blindness had saved him – he blessed his blindness over and over again.

"Clarence?" he said as they walked.

"Right here," Clarence said from slightly behind him.

"Thank you for giving it to me, too," Jarrod said. "I don't know where you came from, but I'm awfully glad you came."

"My pleasure," Clarence said.

As they walked to the depot, to meet the two young women who would be joining the family, Jarrod felt Evy tug on his hand. He bent a little as they walked. "What is it, sweetheart?"

"I love you, Daddy," Evy said quietly to him.

"I love you too!" Vicki said.

It was too much. Jarrod melted into a lump of sentimental goo, right there on the platform. "I love you too, ladies," he said, squeezing their hands.

Life was wonderful, eyes or no eyes.

The End


End file.
